wide open

Heyo!

Isn't it funny that when God tells you to do something he won't shut up until you do? I'm not even joking when I say it was YEARS ago that God told me to start a blog. but hey at least I am finally listening. ;-)

I want to share a little bit of what my visions for this blog are. I want this to be a place where I can be vulnerable with my thoughts, struggles and victories. I want this to be something that inspires others and brings light to my passions. I want it to be full of God's words, not my own. More than anything, I want it to bring glory to Jesus.

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Last weekend, I went on a women's retreat with my church and MAN it wrecked me. I have not had the best track record with women (you can learn more about that when I post my testimony) so if I'm being honest, I was not excited for this trip at all. The last thing I wanted to do was spend a weekend surrounded by women. I knew I would feel awkward, bitter, and just angry. But God told me to go, and so I did.

It's a good thing He knows best, right?

This weekend blew my mind. I learned how to be wide open. Being wide open is truly simple, yet we make it so hard. If the saying "wide open" is throwing you off, let me just explain it a bit. Wide open means holding nothing back from Jesus. It means recognizing the walls you have built around certain things and letting Him knock them down. It means letting Jesus come in and touch every part of your past that isn't healed. It means going back to the darkest moments of your life and seeing Jesus there with you. It means being completely vulnerable to do what He calls you to do, even if it's scary as hell. It means choosing to believe what He says about you and letting Him cover the lies of this world with His beautiful truth. It means sacrificing your comfort and allowing Him to wreck you non-stop.

Being wide open means having your own intimacy with Jesus.

I want to live my life wide open. In everything I do, I want to be able to hear God's voice. I want to allow him to come in and do WHATEVER He wants to do, even if I don't see how or why. I want to be best friends with Jesus and talk to him like I do all of my girlfriends. I want to be obedient to His calling. I want to hate being comfortable and constantly show others the love and light of Jesus. I want to serve Him every single day.

I believe that doing this blog is part of how God wants me to be wide open. I am excited to see how faithful He will be in this!! Will you live your life wide open with me?